You might have noticed that I've done 2 other post tonight. That's because each is a different idea.
Now...I'm thinking about the cross-road I'm at in my life. I really don't know what I want to do anymore. I don't know if I want to continue to own my own business or go and work for someone else. I don't know if I want to be direct in Graphics or in IT. If I shoudl be involved in Media Solutions or...what....
I just don't know anymore. It's funny...I'm 31 and now for the first time in my life "I dont know"...
That's so funny. I've always had a answer for everything and have known my direction in this life. I've always had a focus and have been able to help others figure their way in the widing road of life...and now I'm at an impass not knowing what to do.
I have 2 best friends and it's like I can't get my hands on either one of them...just to talk. One is married and her husband dosent want me to talk to her. He's a butthole (and that's being nice...but we'll talk about his insecurities another day)....and the other...Ms. Mary Jane Watson...so sweet is she...Sometimes I feel I'm letting her down ...when I'm actually down.
Guess that's why I'm BatMan...I was dating this young lady who made it a point of 'not letting me play the hero...but to take off the mask when I'm with her'...
I get so tired ...it's like I have to be so much to so many people and at the end of the day...when I'm tired..like I am now...there is no one to be my hero. I'm not tooting my own horn. Trust me...I truly have problems of my own....issues to numerious to mention...but I always seem to find a way to help someone else..give guidence...love...support..whatever...I just don't know how to do the same for myself.
I've been so tired everyday this week that 'energy' is a foreign word to me. Thinking about joining a health club..one that's open 24hrs. I'm a night owl for those that don't already know.
Back to the BatMan thing. I think the BatMan name came about because of 'who' Bruce Waine is. He's a guy who seems to have it all together. He's a hero...that's tomented by his past. He's alone...except for a few friends that 'still' don't really know him. I think the butler 'knows' him better than Bruce would think. But..at the end of the day...when the lights go down...and Bruce is back from playing Batman...the mask comes off...and he's alone again. Tired. Hurt. Beat. Lonely. And right now...that's how I feel.
I told someone lastnight that I don't have many regrets...I usually don't look back...I keep it full steam ahead. But...recently...I've found something to be one of my greatest regrests in life...and that was not making my highschool sweetheart my wife. (dang...got folks trying to figure this one out).
Well...I coudln't marry her because I never had the guts to go the next step and actually tell her how I truly felt about her. I was around her everyday and knew her better than anyone...and she new me that way also...but it just never happened. Close calls...yeah...but never all the way. Oh well...things happen for a reason and this one...I have yet to find the reason.
But enough about that. Guess I'll pick back up on the college life this week. It's funny...they say.."how can you type with your eyes closed"...and I say..."Cause I can see the words in my head...the events come back to me so vividly...that it makes it easy to recount on the keyboard..."
I type...I dream...I type....I look back.
You know..there is this Sting song called "Brand New Day" that says...well...here's waht it says...and it's actually all that's been on my mind...
Sting: Brand New Day (just a portion)
One day you could be looking
Through an old book in rainy weather
You see a picture of her smiling at you
When you were still together
You could be walking down the street
And who should you chance to meet?
But that same old smile you致e been thinking of all day?
Why don't we turn the clock to zero honey?
I値l sell the stock we値l spend all the money
We're starting up a brand new day
Turn the clock all the way back
I wonder if she値l take me back
I知 thinking in a brand new way
Turn the clock to zero sister
You値l never know how much I missed her
Starting up a brand new day
Turn the clock to zero boss
The rivers wide we値l swim across
We're starting up a brand new day
Peace
Batman 7X
Now...I'm thinking about the cross-road I'm at in my life. I really don't know what I want to do anymore. I don't know if I want to continue to own my own business or go and work for someone else. I don't know if I want to be direct in Graphics or in IT. If I shoudl be involved in Media Solutions or...what....
I just don't know anymore. It's funny...I'm 31 and now for the first time in my life "I dont know"...
That's so funny. I've always had a answer for everything and have known my direction in this life. I've always had a focus and have been able to help others figure their way in the widing road of life...and now I'm at an impass not knowing what to do.
I have 2 best friends and it's like I can't get my hands on either one of them...just to talk. One is married and her husband dosent want me to talk to her. He's a butthole (and that's being nice...but we'll talk about his insecurities another day)....and the other...Ms. Mary Jane Watson...so sweet is she...Sometimes I feel I'm letting her down ...when I'm actually down.
Guess that's why I'm BatMan...I was dating this young lady who made it a point of 'not letting me play the hero...but to take off the mask when I'm with her'...
I get so tired ...it's like I have to be so much to so many people and at the end of the day...when I'm tired..like I am now...there is no one to be my hero. I'm not tooting my own horn. Trust me...I truly have problems of my own....issues to numerious to mention...but I always seem to find a way to help someone else..give guidence...love...support..whatever...I just don't know how to do the same for myself.
I've been so tired everyday this week that 'energy' is a foreign word to me. Thinking about joining a health club..one that's open 24hrs. I'm a night owl for those that don't already know.
Back to the BatMan thing. I think the BatMan name came about because of 'who' Bruce Waine is. He's a guy who seems to have it all together. He's a hero...that's tomented by his past. He's alone...except for a few friends that 'still' don't really know him. I think the butler 'knows' him better than Bruce would think. But..at the end of the day...when the lights go down...and Bruce is back from playing Batman...the mask comes off...and he's alone again. Tired. Hurt. Beat. Lonely. And right now...that's how I feel.
I told someone lastnight that I don't have many regrets...I usually don't look back...I keep it full steam ahead. But...recently...I've found something to be one of my greatest regrests in life...and that was not making my highschool sweetheart my wife. (dang...got folks trying to figure this one out).
Well...I coudln't marry her because I never had the guts to go the next step and actually tell her how I truly felt about her. I was around her everyday and knew her better than anyone...and she new me that way also...but it just never happened. Close calls...yeah...but never all the way. Oh well...things happen for a reason and this one...I have yet to find the reason.
But enough about that. Guess I'll pick back up on the college life this week. It's funny...they say.."how can you type with your eyes closed"...and I say..."Cause I can see the words in my head...the events come back to me so vividly...that it makes it easy to recount on the keyboard..."
I type...I dream...I type....I look back.
You know..there is this Sting song called "Brand New Day" that says...well...here's waht it says...and it's actually all that's been on my mind...
Sting: Brand New Day (just a portion)
One day you could be looking
Through an old book in rainy weather
You see a picture of her smiling at you
When you were still together
You could be walking down the street
And who should you chance to meet?
But that same old smile you致e been thinking of all day?
Why don't we turn the clock to zero honey?
I値l sell the stock we値l spend all the money
We're starting up a brand new day
Turn the clock all the way back
I wonder if she値l take me back
I知 thinking in a brand new way
Turn the clock to zero sister
You値l never know how much I missed her
Starting up a brand new day
Turn the clock to zero boss
The rivers wide we値l swim across
We're starting up a brand new day
Peace
Batman 7X
